So here we go, let me tell you this at the very beginning, I’m no easy person to deal with. What you are getting into is not sweet and pretty as it seems. So anytime you wish to leave, you may do so. Don’t worry about breaking my heart because I’d rather stay alone than feeling lonely with you beside me. Yet, after everything, if you genuinely wish to stay, let me tell you it will be difficult. Nothing worth comes easy.
I’m a guarded person, way too much. The walls gone higher, when the people who were once close, left. It may seem impossible to breach these walls, but there’s one simple secret. The passageway that leads inside those walls, is what I write. Read what I write, and you’ll know me better than I know myself. You’ll know everything I’ve been through and even if you weren’t in my life before, you’ll feel like you’ve been there all along. And when you know me inside out, I’ll feel safe with you.
There will be times when I feel vulnerable, I’ll get away or shut you out. Don’t feel irritated during those times. Instead talk to me about random things, because that is the one time all my guards will be down and all I would want is to know that I’m understood. I may not tell you this then, but it will make me safe. It’ll take a long time for me to open up everything to you, but when I do, it will be only to you.
Sometimes, you will feel how immature or crazy I am, because of my decisions. Don’t get angry at those times, instead, tell me the right thing to do and wait for me to realize it properly. You don’t have to like or act like you appreciate everything that I desire, I will only want you to understand what I like and enjoy them. I’ll offer you three promises : I’ll trust you until you show me that I can’t; I’ll be consistent as your efforts inspire me to be; I’ll honor your time and respect you to my best.
I won’t share what we have between us, to the outer world. They will know us, but nothing about us. At times you may feel distant, when I don’t call you, or when I don’t check on you. But trust me, at anytime, if you want a shoulder to cry upon, a lap to rest your head, I’ll be there for you. I’ll listen to you, while you tell me about your worse day. If you can’t talk about it, I’ll stay next to you silently and you’ll know I’m right beside you. I’ll hold your hand while you tell all the amazing things that happened.
I have a deep soul, and if you reach the depths of it, you’ll know all my flaws which were invisible on the shallow end. And if you be patient through all of this, you’ll be surprised by the love you receive, because for a person who has never completely let in anyone in her life, there’s a lot more to discover once you are in. And so much love to give.
You entangled glorious mess.